‘We must strive to be like the moon.’ An old man in Kabati repeated this sentence often… the adage served to remind people to always be on their best behavior and to be good to others. [S]he said that people complain when there is too much sun and it gets unbearably hot, and also when it rains too much or when it is cold. But, no one grumbles when the moon shines. Everyone becomes happy and appreciates the moon in their own special way. Children watch their shadows and play in its light, people gather at the square to tell stories and dance through the night. A lot of happy things happen when the moon shines. These are some of the reasons why we should want to be like the moon. -Ismael Beach
The moon is brilliant tonight.
You can barely see it, too many clouds in the way.
But I know it’s there.
It almost erases the full of today.
The sick dog who enjoyed his birthday party overly much and lay around in a catatonic food coma all day, stupidly gazing off into space, looking like he was dying.
The slew of crisis that hit work all at the same time which had me spending my entire evening on paperwork, instead of my usual restorative Monday art night.
The rejection of my cards from a shop owner. I was told I wasn’t a “good match.” I felt a sting.
The embarrassingly personal text message sent to a client, meant for a friend. Insert facepalm and awkward backward moonwalk here.
The severe loneliness tearing through me on a day like today, leaving me wondering if I will ever feel whole, ever find healing for the crack the size of the grand canyon I carry in my heart. Or if I’m to accept that being found eternally wanting is simply part of the human condition.
I could keep going with all this, there’s more. I was originally going to. Write about bad days and rejection that is. Write about the hard stuff. Be real and raw. I started a post earlier to do just that.
Then I stepped outside, and I saw the moon behind the clouds. That alone was enough to take my breath away.
To give pause.
To notice the scents in the air. The cool crisp of fall. The warm smells from an oven that said somewhere nearby something comforting is cooking. The way the clouds create light and bright in a sky, that is otherwise ink.
The way life stood still, even if only for an infinitesimal second.
And for a moment my heart skipped happily and I stood straighter, pulled by the light of the moon.
All I could think was I’ll take this now. This completely imperfect mess of a day. This stress in my shoulders. This tightness in my chest. The disappointment, the loneliness, the ache. My grand canyon. Even these are a gift, because they are part of me.
In this moment they are magnified by the moon’s light, and when I see them up close I see how tiny they are. I am suspended in a moment of eternal beauty as I stare at that clouded moon, and I know I don’t want to miss this now. No matter how hard my now seemed today.
A lot of happy things happen when the moon shines. These are some of the reasons why we should want to be like the moon.
Tonight I will take my infinitesimal moment of standing straighter and feeling pulled. Pulled towards something greater than today. I will take the muted light that shone down. I will take my tiny glimpse of lucid clarity when all stood still and I loved my Now.
And I will call it happy.